Marathoning Update - with the good, comes the bad...

Thought I'd give a little update on how my marathon training is going (I'll have some silly flaky posts later this week). Up until this past weekend, things had been progressing nicely. My tempo runs were finally getting faster. My body was feeling good. I could feel the positive changes taking shape. Then came Sunday. My training was dealt it's first major hurdle. A soul crushing 23km run. This was the furthest I've run ever. I had been a little anxious about it all week. I woke up that morning (7:00 am on a Sunday!) in a bit of a bad mood. I really wanted to stay in bed. But I knew I had to get up for the group run. As hard as it is to run 23km with a group of friends, I knew it would NEVER happen if I had to go out alone.

Things started off ok. But around 8km my knee started to get a little stiff. That's when the worry started creeping in. Why am I sore already? Is this the beginning of another injury? What if I can't do this? So I decided it best to slow my pace down just a little. But in doing so started to fall further back from my pace group. Throw in a couple of long red lights and soon I lost sight of them altogether (which was ok, given my grumpy mood I would not have been the best company). Now I've hit 14km and I really don't want to run anymore. Several times I find myself checking what street I'm on, thinking of quick ways to get back to the Running Room (home base). But I tell myself to keep going. Maybe it will get better. It doesn't. The streets are icy and I almost slide around a lot. I start HATING everything. The weather. The ice. The route. The fact I'm not in better shape. The people who are in better shape. You name it, I was cursing it. Mental exhaustion now starts to set in. I'm taking unscheduled walk breaks. Things hit an all time low when at 21km I found myself alone and exhausted in Mount Pleasant Cemetery. This is normally one of my favourites places to run. But not on this day. I was taking a walk break; My legs (feeling good) were telling me to start running again. My brain didn't want to listen.

"GO! We can do it", cried my legs. But in my head all I could hear was "You're done. You can't do this. Why did you think you could? If you can't run 23km, how are you ever going to run that 30km race? Or the full marathon?". It was at this point I burst into tears. Or what would have been tears provided I had not been so dehydrated. All my bodily fluids had been sweat out and I had nothing left for tears. So instead I was left making that ugly cry face. Totally pathetic. This went on for a good minute. I FINALLY some how ended up running again. And after that things were fine. I finished the remaining 2km with no problem. In fact, there was a little zip in my step. I entered the Running Room to the sound of cheers and congratulations. My fellow runners and friends all every happy that we had completed such a long tough run. It was a very welcome sound!

So what did Sunday's run teach me? Physically I can do it. But as strong as you need to be physically, you need to be just as strong mentally. As soon as you start doubting, it all falls apart. I'll have a chance to put this to practice again on Sunday. We're running 26km! Cross your fingers!